What am I suppose to do now?

Firstly i would like to revive my blog as its alrdy dead for such a long time and my babe woke me up today saying that she still view my blog even thou im not even updating. Feeling so ashamed of myself. So wat I have alrdy finish my poly? i feel so suffocated! why? blog i just wanna vent out my anger. Dad have been keep asking me about uni stuff and with my final results now i just feel that i'm in the middle of no where. If I can't get into local U wat should I do? Is it so hard to get a degree? does my life needs a degree so much? Do i need to go overseas if i can;t get into local U? Do i have to hurt my love one again? Blog i have alrdy made her suffered once when i was in Wuhan its really unfair to her to do it once again. Hoping to get into local U one day, I try to do myself proud I try to do my dad proud of me and not look down by others but kind of think of that wat do i gain in the end when ppl just praise u? I just blame myself sometimes why is fame and face that impt to me? bizzz always told me i should get out of my own comfort zone and dun think that everyone is looking down on me but i cant. I wanted to help u out in yr school stuff but i can't. seing u suffered so much in school with all sorts of assignment but just to comfort u by telling u that i'm by yrside there's nth else i can do! Making u love me more than i do i felt terrible. Just felt that i'm sort of a burden of yours. Just believe in yrself k? U can do it de just like how u encourage me when i was having my final year exam. In the end i did well rite? so u mustn't let this r/s of ours affect yr studies k? Its yr last freshman sem le so just chiong babe! I Love U! I Miss U! My Dearest!